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  1. Gas tank is full

  2. Without government

  3. Haters will say its photoshopped

  4. When you add irrelevant bullshit to your resume

  5. Pothole repair

  6. This guy must have some big nuts

  7. You know what rhymes with friday

  8. When your friends cancel on you

  9. Only drink on days beginning with t

  10. Yoga pants

  11. Dude hold my beer

  12. Wife and dog kidnapped

  13. Why beer

  14. Only acceptable place to slap a woman is on her ass

  15. Please step out of the car

  16. I hate job interviews its like

  17. Funny idiot

  18. Captain cannabis

  19. 40 percent of the internet is porn

  20. Youre doing it wrong

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